Motherhood

I'm having a rough evening. I know I have it good. Hood is an amazing baby and I am soo blessed, but the fact of the matter is, he is still a baby and I wasn't ready to be a mom yet. I'm tired, but as soon as I fall asleep, the baby will wake up and need attention of some sort. I want Nick to come home from work. I want to yell at him and get mad at him for leaving me home alone for so long, but I can't even do that. He is amazing too. He is working so many hours trying to provide for his family in a horrible economy. I just burnt my fingers making soup and I cried, but there was no one to take care of me. I want Nick to come home, but he won't be home until after seven. I'm tired and annoyed and Hood can tell, so of COURSE he starts to cry and be ridiculous. All I want to do is snuggle with Nick and spend an evening where the only person who is being held constantly is me. I want to get comfy on the couch knowing I can stay there as long as I want. I want to eat soup without being afraid that a little hand is going to flip it off my lap. I want to wear clothes without puke on them for a whole day. I want to not smell urine for a few hours. I am sick of taking care of other people constantly. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm being selfish. Welcome to Motherhood. Don't worry, the moodiness will wear off. I woke up at 4 this morning and I haven't been to sleep since...hence the lovely mood.