Growing Up

I'm at work right now. It's a really slow afternoon. I've been watching a girl across the street interacting with (presumably) her younger brother and sister. My guess is that she's thirteen and her siblings are around 10 or 11. They are pestering her, and my guess is that she has been given responsibility over them. Honestly, why do parents say, "Okay, Sarah, you're in charge of Billy and Samantha. Kids, listen to your sister..." They never do. I can't remember if that ever happened with Christina and I growing up, but if it did, I'm sure I wouldn't have listened to her. Anyway, so the older sister is marching around with her purse slung across her shoulder, chewing gum and talking on her cellphone. The younger kids are making faces and moose antlers at her whenever she turns her back. I can see myself in her. She really wants to be taken seriously. She wants to look like the women she sees sauntering down the sidewalk with their long, beautiful legs and styled hair. It's rough when your surroundings give you away. You're stuck with the little siblings and they are "like, hopelessly immature".

Now, being the baby of the family, I never had to deal with the younger sibling thing, but I'm sure my sister could tell you. I remember hearing "Amy! You're EMBARRASSING me!" on at least a few occasions.

As a kid you always want to be taken more seriously or be treated like a grown up, but you never quite realize when you actually are. It's been a little while since someone has thought I was younger than I am. Sure, I don't look 40, but I don't look like I'm 22 either. I don't think we ever grow out of that sensitive stage though. Sometimes I still feel like the gawky pre-teen who wants to be the beautiful girl who turns heads and drops jaws. I don't know when I'm going to feel like an adult, but if that day comes, it's going to catch me off guard. You would think motherhood would have brought it on, but I am still just as unsure about life as the day I graduated from 6th grade (well, maybe I'm a little more sure of myself.)

It's amazing how much you can read into some kids playing on the sidewalk...